so i went to squish the spider with a fly swatter, and as i got close to it, the spider jumped onto the fly swatter, then immediately dropped a line to get away, so i ran it into the bathroom to drop it in the toilet. i just kinda dunked it a couple of times, because it wouldnt break its line. so i cut its survival line from the top with a piece of tp. then to make sure it was dead, i placed a square of toilet paper ontop of it, making sure the spider was right in the middle of the square. and since i hadnt flushed since the last time i peed, i thought that that was going to be enough to kill it. when i went back a little while later to pee again, the square of tp was still there, but the spider wasnt underneath it. i thought it died and fell to the bottom, so i tried to look past it, but as i sorta bent in to look, i noticed the spider up underneath the rim. the fucking thing swam in piss water underneath that whole square of toilet paper to crawl up the wet slippery porcelain to god knows what kind of germ infested area underneath there. i was very impressed, this goddamn thing has more will to live than 90% of the fags on tumblr. it intercepted my fly swatter and attacked it, knew it was a losing battle immediately so he desperately dropped a getaway line, then was dropped into a bowl of urine water with a huge blanket of paper weighing it down, but then swam literally 10 times its body length in piss water to crawl up some slippery slope of porcelain and contagion. so congratulations spider, what a fucking getaway… wow, im very impressed. id like to say that i knew i was bested by this 8 legged hero, and i then carefully removed him from the toilet and set him free to reproduce and pass those survival of the fittest genes on to other spiders, but i just flushed it.

6 Notes/ Hide

  1. megaling said: You were right to flush it. Its spawn could have evolved into the doomsday spider.
  2. bertoltbrechtfast said: “i was very impressed, this goddamn thing has more will to live than 90% of the fags on tumblr” fuck youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
  3. yeahiwasintheshit posted this